“I want you to go home, look in the mirror, and tell yourself that you are amazing. Anyone who doesn’t see your value is a fool. You are enough.”
I remember those words like the back of my hand. I don’t know how I heard them, I was sobbing, and his voice was shaking. Those words will stick with me forever. How could they not? They were some of the most precious words I’ve ever been told.
I needed to hear those three sentences. Those three sentences held my confidence.
I couldn’t bare to hear his name, I couldn’t look anyone in the eyes because they would see that I was on the edge of a break. I didn’t want to hear the question, ” are you okay?” I wasn’t okay. I was falling apart.
“We need to talk.” I followed him down the stairs, knowing I wouldn’t be able to talk. I hadn’t talked in days. I wasn’t able to. There was nothing to talk about. “Look I know he hurt you.” Right as I heard his name I fell apart. Why was I falling apart? This was a common pain, I’ve felt this pain before.
As he saw my eyes pour and face hit the palms of my hands he gripped my shoulders. “Sweetie, I’ve been where you are. I’ve been left alone and I’ve been confused. You have to know that this isn’t your fault. You can’t control someone else’s emotions. You can’t dwell over the girl he is after. She could be the ugliest, most dark hearted girl in the world and I promise you that he still would not choose you.” Why was he telling me this? Why was he making it hurt more?
“You see, God has someone perfect for you. He wasn’t it, and the next one might not be it. You might experience this again. You cannot settle. You have too much love in your heart to settle. It’s your job to feel bad for those people that push your love away. I can’t tell you why he did it but I will tell you what I want you to do. I want you to go home, look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are amazing. Anyone who doesn’t see your value is a fool. You are enough.”
After he told me these directions, I truly followed them. I stopped waking up and looking in the mirror trying to find my flaws, trying to figure out where my faults were hiding. I began looking in the mirror and noticing features that I loved about myself, but not just body features, features in my heart. He gave me the confidence that I was never going to find. He made me realize that I couldn’t change someone else’s heart, I could only change my own.